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The joys of being good for you - nourishment

 

It is amazing to be able to say I am a whole, happy, healthy, loving woman. I was sick for the first 40 years of my life. Like millions of other human beings I grew up deep in the category disease of alcoholism. For generations it has plagued my family. The unbalanced life I led is so communal in our society; I didnt know something was wrong. I was a participant in the chaos, confusion, neuroses, pain and agony which is acquaint with in dysfunctional families. I call it The Dance of Death.

I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri in the convergence of Clayton. The only memories I have of my vicar are when he would beat my brother and me with his belt so relentlessly my clothes would cling to the bloody strap marks on my legs. He would make us wait for our punishment in our room beforehand he dealt the ugly blows. My nurse bunged her eyes to what was happening. Both of them partied on weekends where I would find empty highball glasses scattered all over the existing room. I had holes in th e soles of my shoes while my nurse would model a new lozenge blend ring, jackpot from a weekly poker game. My dad was also a attention-grabbing gambler. He died at the age of 45 when I was nine years old.

My care for attracted a further alcoholic to her life soon after my fathers death. They had a symbiotic, mutually supporting and addictive relationship. Every ten days they would consume a case of end which was delivered to our apartment building from the local liquor store. My care for never appeared drunk but she was distant, selfish and narcissistic. My step fathers disease had progressed to the point he was evidently high most evenings. His bearing was condescending, nasty and self righteous. He was verbally abusive and drove his car while drunk on many occasions. When I think back to that dot of my account I bear in mind charge my delicate life secret!!! I was ashamed of their behavior. I pretended all was well and I began mounting anxious behavior for self preservation.

In my teens I danced a number of days after school, participated in drama groups, worked in a area store and had creative life in my head. I imagined the way I sought my world to be and was in abjuration as to the truth in front of me. I became obsessive, compelling and an over achiever. For the reason that I worked so hard I accomplished a lot for a young girl but the realism was it was inspired by fear, lack of self-confidence and a need for control.

In academy I affectionate in my opinion to art and earned a B. S. in Instruction and a M. A. in Painting and Stoneware from the Academy of Missouri. I was hired as a academy teacher soon after accommodate school. I felt happy for a time since I was away from home and caught up in teaching. I took my job very badly but the isolation I felt when I was by in my opinion was debilitating.

I longed for love . . . any kind. I didnt apprehend it at the time but I had never felt affection. I became elsewhere with opinion of men. I had guys on my mind constantly! I was all the rage and had many choices but I selected the ones who I belief looked-for me. Most often they were from dysfunctional families. I dated a lot of drunks all through my 20s. It felt familiar. In spite of my sensation as an actor and a teacher, I had low self appreciate and I knew a little was wrong with me.

In l969 I began a new life in an added city. Contained by a week of heartbreaking to Boston, Massachusetts, I was roughly raped and hospitalized. I never conventional help with this distress and didnt as it should be aggrieve until years later. I hard-pressed down the pain and was then, more than ever, resolved to coin the complete life for myself, (as if it were in my hands?)

This was made easy for me when Joey Haudel entered my life. He crammed the arrangement of my Knight in Shining Armour, albeit, distorted. He was young, handsome, and alcoholic and had just been on the rampage from prison. We desirable each other like ducks need water. We bonded in a inter-reliant connection that lasted 12 years.

Our experiences as one were astounding. What I academic about in my opinion was profound. Our journey is approximately unbelievable. I have told this story in a dramatic narrative, I Survived: One Womans Journey of Self Curing and Transformation on DVD. It is overflowing with the dark world of illness and moves to the light of wellness. I reached my floor after years of suffering. I was contemplating suicide but was saved by the Grace of God and the dear voice of a car phone worker who kept me on the phone for over an hour.

I spent years in recovery; activation with Al-Anon meetings in 1973, quite a few run of Adult Brood of Alcoholic Therapy Sessions, characteristic therapy with abundant therapists and devouring self help books. I had the courage to look inside and face the demons. It wasnt easy and many times I hunted to quit. I often felt I was too depressed to get well. One step at a time I copied ahead and never looked back! I visualized a good for you prognosis. Today I am alive that attractive picture!

I am blissfully married to a man 19 years my junior. What makes our association extraordinary is that my partner was born in 1960 the year after I graduated from high school. I am older than his mother. We a moment ago celebrated our 17th anniversary and carry on to share the most magnificent life. The cloak-and-dagger of our sensation is our greatly committed love for one another. We enjoy a passionate romance. I wish what Bryan and I have could be dotted over the world like angel dust.

We met in 1985 all through a rainy coldness in San Francisco. We were neighbors on a tiny lane near the historic Mission Dolores. The worst storm of the flavor was on its way and my roof was leaking profusely. I was in dire straits financially, having been newly divorced. I was preparing to fix it myself. Regrettably my ladder wasnt tall enough. I desired help. None of the folks I knew were home that Saturday break of day but I noticed an open door completely crosswise from my house. I hassled upstairs to the back story flat in the azure painted duplex and walked down the long corridor to the breathing room. There on the sofa was a guy inspection the football game on T. V. I introduced in my opinion and then proceeded to ask for his assistance. He looked at me like I was nuts. The silence was deafening. How often does a stranger enter your high-rise with a appeal for help with a major repair? I was flushed with embarrassment but was in too deep to recover. Happily he arranged to help me.

This uncommon creation signaled the magic that lay ahead of us. The sparks flew. We went on our first date inside days of this meeting. Bryans car was broken down so we took the bus crosswise the city to an authentic Moroccan restaurant where we sat on paisley cushions and ate with our fingers. I consider noticeably how archaic this felt and how accepted it was to be with him. He didnt seem the least bit apprehensive about my age. I, on the other hand, was more sensitive. I was still medicinal from the mutually supporting affiliation of 12 years and had never skilled true intimacy. I wasnt sure it was the appropriate thing to do but I couldnt help myself; I was declining in love. I was scared as these feelings were advent so quickly.

Bryan moved in with me in weeks of our first meeting. I bear in mind assessment if it didnt work out it would be easy to ask him to leave since all he owned was a T. V. For Valentines Day he bent a lynching wire cell in the shape of disheveled hearts and obtainable it to me with vegetation and chocolate. This type of absorbed gesture is classic of Bryan. He has never missed a exclusive chance and has often astonished me with charms when he takings from a commerce trip.

One sundown in the bound we were coming up to board a banquet train in Mendocino. A drunken man approached us and said, How come you two are dressed up? Are you in receipt of married? Bryan looked at me and said, Yes, we are arent we? That was his proposal. It was certain we would plan a wedding for later that year. But, first I looked-for to meet Bryans mother.

Just the belief of it terrified me! Bryan and his mother, Sharon, have a rare bond. He insisted he would not tell anybody about our commitment until she and I met. We drove to southern California where Sharon was visiting her sister, Bryans aunt. I felt sick the intact trip. I knew in build up he was going to take his nurse shopping the next cock-crow alone to break the news to her. I couldnt sleep at all that night. What felt so right to Bryan and me was unusual, chiefly in the eyes of a parent. When they returned from their departure Sharon looked like she had just come from a funeral. Fortunately, for me, Aunt Toby conventional the condition and eased the tension by generous me a white angel ornament. His care for is a breathtaking woman. In spite of her disappointment, she welcomed me into their family. Over the years our bond has evolved into a inimitable friendship, a cross connecting a peer and a sister.

December 7, 1986, dressed in an ivory dyed Victorian gown, I was determined to our wedding in a horse drawn carriage. I bring to mind the sensation well. As I heard the clip-pity clop of the hoofs beating the pavement I felt it was the happiest day of my life. The ride was quite a few miles long and I enjoyed cars honking brashly at every turn. When we indoors at the elegant Alamo Balance Inn Bryan was ahead of you to attendant me exclusive to the nuptials. It was a good thing he took my hand, for as I exited the carriage, my knees collapsed from shaking so hard. The day was spectacular marking a existence of love.

Both Bryan and I had constantly hunted kids. By the time we met my biological clock had run out. He told me he would moderately marry a woman he loved genuinely than to wait for a celebrity to bear his children. For a number of years we were comfortable to be a unit of two. After my dear Aunt Letha died in 1992 I longed for a child. Bryan approved to adoption. It was an hard come across requiring patience and resilience. We had numerous birthmothers who altered their minds for assorted reasons. This course of action took three years and a great deal of money. At the end of the day we were blessed with a baby girl we named Mariah. Our daughter is now 8 years old and the light of our life. I am appreciative I am able to be a good close relative and I delight in every instant I spend with both of them as a family.

Bryan continues to be my rock, depth and loving support. At some stage in our years as one I have had many tragedies including: my brother Johns suicide in 1988, my ex- wife Joeys death from alcoholism in 1989, and my girlfriend Debras suicide in 2002. I was hospitalized with a potentially life threatening blood clot in my lungs in 1998. Bryan stood by me all through all of these. I married a great guy! I am a fortunate woman to have found true love in the heart of a younger man.

Each day I thank God for the gifts I have been given. I see my world as peaceful and balanced. My mission is to inspire ancestors to their own curing and recovery. It is truly doable to find serenity, joy and love. If I can do it, so can you.

To learn more about Kay Kopit visit: www. isurviveddocumentary. com

Contact: Rhonda Boudreaux
Office: 510-236-2668
Mobile: 510-236-2668

About The Author

Kay Kopit, accomplished artist, actor, writer, loudspeaker and talented teacher.

Kay Kopit grew up in the Midwest town of Clayton, Missouri. At the age of sixteen she choreographed as well as intended and made costumes for numerous high educate productions. Here she found her passion for art and theatre.

Kay attended the Academe of Missouri where she acknowledged a B. S. in Art Culture and M. A. in Painting and Ceramics. While in seminary she constant her appeal in plays fabrication succeeding in dance routine and dress blueprint for more than a few major productions, plus Cavalcade and Once Upon a Mattress. After accommodate drill she trained Life Drawing, Design, and Stoneware at the very esteemed Stephens Academy in Columbia, Missouri.

In 1969 Kay was inspired to move to the East or West Coast. By the flip of a coin (literally) she certain to move to the East Coast where she made Boston, Massachusetts her home. She was at once free a arrangement coaching art at Lexington High School. After more than a few doing well years doctrine Kay was gritty to pursue a career in the arts and theatre and moved to California.

Kay moved to San Francisco where she qualified with Wendell Phillips of the well-known Stagegroup Theatre. For quite a few years she considered acting, dance, communal speaking, and playwriting with decent names such as Elizabeth Cluster of A. C. T. , Peter Layton of The Drama Studio of London at Berkeley, and Sue Walden of the Improvisational Workshop.

Kay had chronic sensation in her performing and modeling career. She appeared in many citizen commercials including: Dreyers Grand Ice Cream, Hunt Wesson Foods, Totinos Pizza, Shaklee, and many more. She acted as the principal representative for a number of Business Films including: Chevron, Firemans Fund, Zenger Miller Productions and American Caring Services. Her print work was broad including: Ketchum Advertising, Safeway, and Emporium-Capwell.

Kays good big business sense and affection to doctrine inspired her to open her own clay in Marin County, California. She founded and operated, Clay In Mind, a ironstone china instruct and arcade in San Rafael. This venture led to Clay In Mind II a manufacturing plant in San Diego, California. After many productive years the break to sell came and Kay felt it was a good time to do so.

Most recently, Kay is the essayist and producer of a documentary of her life story, I Survived: One Womans Journey of Self-Healing and Transformation which covers 15 years of alive with an alcoholic. Even if Kay was flourishing in her life, at the back of clogged doors she endured pain, shame and emotional maiming. Her story is being told to help others overcome the incapacitating disease of codependency.

Kay is now alive an amazing life with her partner Bryan of 17 years (who just happens to be 19 years her junior. ) To accomplish their children they adopted a daughter at birth when Kay was 54 years of age. As well being a care for and wife she continues with her love of painting, writing, coaching and dialect on the branch of learning of codependency. Her passion is not only the arts but to help associates by means of her motivating story. Her courage, stamina, and faith have given her bearing and the gift of portion give others hope. Kay has quite a few in print articles and copy a monthly editorial for Recovery Times.

Read more about Kay Kopit at www. ISurvivedDocumentary. com.

Contact: Rhonda Boudreaux

Publicist

Kay Kopit Productions

510-367-5990

rdboudreaux1@aol. com


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